Tomorrow Doc has to go to the orthopedist for X-rays and followup.  He’s been in bed except for trips to the commode (right next to the bed) since Dec 16th.   All he wanted today was to take a shower.  In a real, tiled shower stall with a forceful spray like this:

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After all, it had been since December 21st since he’d taken one pre-op.

EEEWWW I can hear you saying.

Now, Nancy Nurse is here to tell you that much can be accomplished by a good bed bath, along with a back rub.

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BUT there’s also nothing like the force field of hot water rushing over your skin, instead of your wife washing you with a wimpy wet cloth, or washing your hair with soapy suds instead of a bottled cleanser you towel out.

So Auntie M got him out of bed with great care and he used the walker haltingly to get the ten steps to our shower.  And couldn’t get over the step into it.  Having the use of only one leg meant he would have to hop up, way too high. . . he’s been in bed for three weeks and didn’t have the strength to do that now as he did preop.

There was much cursing gnashing of teeth and almost tearful regretful commentary.  By both of us.

Doc wanted this shower, he NEEDED this shower, he was going to HAVE this shower.

So I improvised.  Needs must.  I stuck him, carefully again, in his wheelchair, the leg up and balanced, starkers.  For those of you who don’t read Brit novels, that means baby-ass naked.

I put a garbage bag down in front of the shower, laid large towels over it, ran more rolled up on either side.  Then I backed Doc as close to the shower as I could get him and got in the shower behind him.

Voila!  I used the handheld and washed his hair, lathering it up generously.  He was able to lean back so that most of that water ran into the shower stall.  Then we worked our way down, rinsing him off sitting in the wheelchair, leaning forward for his back, standing at the end briefly for the ‘ahem’ bits.

I toweled him off and he sat there and shaved with a real shaver, not the electric.  Got him carefully back into bed, with only minor grunting on both of our parts.  He looked better and smelled heavenly.

One huge load of wet towels later, mission accomplished.

Best of all, I got a big smile, especially AFTER I gave him a double dose of his pain meds!

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