Auntiemwrites Crime-Mystery Author M K Graff

Auntie M was watching some inane show one night with Doc when an ad came on, showing an attractive woman in a classy restaurant, eating dinner with the worst kind of date.  He arrived late, spoke on the cell phone, only talked to her to raise an eyebrow at her fattening dessert, and left her alone at the table with a quick kiss on the cheek and the parting words: “Happy Anniversary.”

That’s when it sinks in that this jerk is her husband.  She catches the eye of a VERY attractive man in the restaurant, who smiles at her, and then the voice over tells us: “Ashley Madison.com–for when you can’t get a divorce.”

I thought at first it was a joke.  Then we saw the ad a week later on a different channel.  So in the interests of keeping you all up to date on what is out there, I went to it, hoping it was not pornographic.  It wasn’t.

What it was, is a site where people who are tired of their spouses but have no intention of getting divorced can arrange mutually satisfactory affairs.  I was stunned.  There is actually someone out there making money on this idea.  And people are signing up for it in droves.

What a sad commentary about the state of marriage in our society.  Yes, I totally understand there are times when someone MUST stay married to someone they wish they hadn’t–been there, done that–but only for a few years until I made sure I could support myself and my son.  So I have tremendous empathy for women and men out there in lonely marriages, stuck with unsympathetic spouses, who don’t see a way out of their situations.

I guess what I’m ranting about is an organization taking advantage of their emotional low to make money on their heartache.  Or are they simply providing a much needed but not talked about service?  Am I being too sensitive?

Readers, what’s your take on this????

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When Annie Lennox wrote ( and sang) that song, she knew that love was at the heart of what drive us as humans.

A recent article in “Real Simple” magazine had answers for their monthly question: “What is the best thing money can’t buy?”

Here are some of the answers from across the nation:

“A husband who truly listens.”

“When my teen son walked across a room just to give me a loving hug.”

“An unexpected apology from an old friend.”

“The unconditional love of our dogs.”

“Solitude.”

“Being born to parents who really loved their children”

The winner was Jennifer Lewis Meyer: “The kind of gut-busting, tears-streaming-down-your-face, bordering-on-hysteria laughter that still makes you giggle when you think of it days later.

Auntie M could identify with Meyer.  I’m getting ready to leave for Utah next week for my yearly meeting with the four other women who keep me writing and keep me sane, the Screw Iowa Writers Group.  I expect there will be long discussions about the nature of our book and our website, hours of editing and advising each other on our manuscripts, great food, a bit of wine, and most importantly, that kind of stress-releasing laughter. That’s us on the back left of the desk in the photo below.

When you read this, I will be in Utah that these women whose friendship I savor and depend on.

The article made me think of those special moments that we capture in our hearts: the days our children were born, proposals, loving moments from partner, etc.  We would all rate those high.  And the love of a good pet, too!  And then there are the unexpected moments that catch us off guard, but that we treasure and revisit in our memories, like snapshots.

Here’s one of mine:  Auntie M’s granddaughter, Rachel Elizabeth, at 6 years old, getting ready to go upstairs to bed at our house after a wonderful Christmas.  She stopped at the bottom of the stairs with her dad, turned her beaming smile on me and pronounced, “Nana, you’re the BEST!”

OK readers:  We know who you love, but what’s one outstanding memory money couldn’t buy?

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I’ve been Depped.  RUN to the nearest store that carries Vanity Fair mag and splurge on the current issue.

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Depp must be the winner of “most mag covers” but it was the interior shots and article itself which attracted Auntie M.

Shots of Depp in Cuba, prepping for his next movie role as a youthful Hunter S. Thompson, stretch across several pages.  Big sigh.  Story of Depp and a few friends relaxing for a week before on his boat and at his private Bahamian Island.

Who knew the various beaches on his small cay are named for his children and partner?

Douglas Brinkley, a Thompson compatriot and author, reveals the Depp we really want to see: relaxed, without paparazzi, shirtless (another BIG SIGH–sorry, a wait while I wipe that bit of drool).  Who knew music was so important to Depp that he uses it as a kind of choreography, to keep a mood or to inspire one?  The story of the Keith Richards covers he listens to at one point is worth reading the article for alone.

Yes, most of us who enjoy Depp for his many attributes probably know he is a world class guitarist.  And yes, we probably knew of his deep and total devotion to his roles and his ability to inhabit his characters.  That’s one of the reasons we love him.  So we want to hear it all from the perspective of a man who is heavily involved in this next movie, the man who carried out Thompson’s wishes to be cremated and shot into space (!).

We all have our favorite Depp roles, those that amuse us, make our hearts beat faster, or show us the depth and range of this amazingly talented (and deliciously sexy) man.

Who can resist?

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Not being able to have our usual garden this year, Eco Lassie has been following the garden exploits of the rest of you with great interest.  And that led to  remembering the time we had keeping our pets out of ours in previous years.

There’s no question we love our pets and also no question that even the cutest of cats and dogs can trample, dig, crush, tear and leave their little presents in our nice rows of fresh veggies and flowers.  What to do that doesn’t mean using the very kind of commercial repellent we’ve been trying to avoid?

* Try soaking cotton balls in citrus (or mint or menthol) essential oils and place around the garden perimeter.  Many pets are repelled by these scents.  You may have to change the balls weekly or after a heavy rain until your pet figures out the garden is a no-go area.

*Use rose prunings, if you have them, around the base of larger established plants.  Paws, especially those sensitive cat pads, will not relish these thorny clippings and quickly find a new pathway.

*The visual image of a barrier works wonders for cats and dogs.  Try using floating row covers, which some of you may already by using to prevent insects and birds from feasting on those tasty shoots of budding plants and flowers.  Planet Natural has the most reasonable I could find, at $10.50 for 5′ X 25′–and you can water and fertilize right through this light, breathable barrier without removing it.

Of course, there ARE some benefits to having our pets near our gardens.   Cats will reduce the amount of mice, voles and moles if they are in your area; dogs scent and barking will keep deer and groundhogs at bay, or at the very least, in your neighbor’s yard!

Happy Gardening~

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