Ask anyone who knows Auntie M well and they will tell you if she calls you rude, that’s right up there with calling you the absolutely worst sucky, snarky, foul-mouthed name she knows.  And she knows plenty–if she were ever to be on The Actors Studio and host James Lipton asked her the Bernard Pivo questions, she would no trouble answering: “What’s your favorite curse word?”! (Holly Hunter’s was CSMF–you figure it out.)

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Auntie M bemoans the lack of manners in most younger generations, but this is not about knowing which fork or spoon to use.  Social graces aside, pure plain manners seem to be flying out the window in far too many homes, with a direct correlation to how these children treat their teachers, other students, and often, their own parents.  Forget polically correct behavior–what happened to socially correct behavior?

Which is probably one reason she and her family made the transition from NY to NC so smoothly: they still teach manners down here.

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To youngsters anywhere from just talking to ten years younger than me, I am “Miss Marni”–and Doc is “Mr. Arthur”.  That’s just how it is.  Doesn’t matter if the Miss is a Mrs. or Ms, either.

And they say “please” and “thank you,” too.

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Everything goes down better when couched in terms of please and thank you.

There’s a reason for that old adage: “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” or some such wording.

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Auntie M is convinced his manners were one of the things that changed her relationship with Doc from colleague to trusted friend to romantic relationship to husband (18 years in May).  His respect for her has never wavered, something Husband #1 was sorely lacking in asshole that he was, which is just one of many reasons why she’s not still married to him.

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Auntie M is convinced that when we do something nice for someone or treat them respectfully,  we get that given back to us tenfold, and by being that way, we potentiate the kindness we see in the world.  You know, that pay-it- forward thing.

Just last night as we were falling asleep, (Doc in a medicated haze in his hospital bed, me next to him in our regular bed, near but an ocean away) he said to me: “I really have noticed the efforts you’re making cooking meals to bring back my appetite.  Thanks.”

You’re most welcome.

Thanks to Google Images.

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